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Have you ever tried to kiss a tree, let alone a pine tree? We have a few issues. First, there are about ten million needles ready to poke your sorry moe-craved ass for attempting such a perversion of nature. Second, assuming you surpassed the needles on your quest for the finest trunk of the trees, that sap those trees give off isn’t gonna just disappear. Now you got a face full of sticky goo (which might not be so bad considering what you were doing to begin with) and open cuts all over that fine neck-beard. Third, that pinaceae (thats a real word, come on herbologists, get it together) has not yet evolved enough to have a mouth. If thats what you want in a plant, try the Venus Fly-Trap. Lastly, and most importantly, moe does not exist in the third dimension… but we do. How’s that waifu of an arbole gonna get a sweet eye patch and go ~uuuuu~ now? Guess I’ll just hang some glass balls off mine and then burn it for heat.